The Quotable Pet Person

We ask, you tell

We asked our readers to give us the scoop on their best (or worst!) home-décor disaster stories involving their pets. Not surprisingly, cat vomit and furniture shredding topped the list. Here are a few of our favorites.

At 6 months, my energetic little English Bulldog broke in to my neighbors’ house through their dog door. I spent half a day lying on my stomach with my head inside the door trying to coax her out while I helplessly watched her destroy my neighbors’ countless belongings. She chased their cats, dug through their trash, jumped on their furniture, pilfered their clothes hamper, ate the fluff out of decorative pillows, tore apart magazines and newspapers, snacked on a bag of chips, and knocked over antique chairs.
I handled the situation by keeping my mouth shut. My neighbors still don’t know that it was a Bulldog [who] ransacked their house. They still think it was a burglar.

—Mindy Jasmund Welks, West Lafayette, IN

My Eskie proved to be quite the decorator when he was a pup. One day, he decided the couch was looking a little too old-fashioned. I came home to find him redecorating it. He had taken the skirting at the bottom of the sofa and had it half way off. I found him having quite a time with the last half. He was pulling as hard as he could, and it wouldn’t budge. After taking in the situation and the couch with and without skirting, I decided it is a modern age, and who needs old-fashioned skirting on the couch anyways?

—Shelley Koss, Phoenix, AZ

My red Somali kitty, Rosy, is a cat [who] vomits often. Well, technically she regurgitates. She eats too much dry food, and then it comes back up and out on the floor. As a veterinary technician, I had the opportunity to meet a sales representative from the company that makes Rosy’s dry food. When we talked, [the representative was] pleased that I feed their special diet for sensitive tummies. When asked why I feed this type, I smiled and said, “It matches my carpet,” … and had to explain Rosy’s little problem. It wasn’t the answer [the rep] expected, but it was the truth!

—Katherine Dobbs, Appleton, WI

My 2-year-old cat, Wink, is a riot. I had just bought a brand-new kitchen mat that had pictures of fluffy cartoon chickens all over it. Wink absolutely loved this; he was snuggle-loving the chickens and decided to catnap on it. Later on that evening, poor Wink barfed all over the new kitchen mat. Since Wink knows that Scrappy [our dog] can be gross and likes to eat kitty barf, Wink neatly folded up the chicken kitchen mat and dragged it into his litterbox for quick and easy cleanup.

—Dina Kreis, Teaneck, NJ

[After an incident with my first dog involving a shredded pillow], many years later when I got my second dog, I made sure he stayed in his crate when I went away … well, except this one day, when it was too inconvenient to drag the crate from under the bed, where it had been stored. And as I was only leaving for a few minutes, I couldn’t imagine what he could get into, especially since I was leaving him in the master bathroom with things like a sink, toilet, tub, and other chew-proof items. And just to make sure he could look out the bathroom door’s window, I pulled the drawstring to the new Roman shade—that had just been installed—to the top of the valance and tucked away the cord. I took one more look around, confident in my diligence, and left the house. When I returned, I was even more horrified than seeing the stuffing in my living room many years before. This dog, apparently not content to just look out the window, decided to jump (many jumps) until he reached the cord. He then pulled the shade down and proceeded to eat it, bamboo slats and all!
And to this day that tattered shade is still hanging in my bathroom window as a reminder this kid is on probation until his 16th birthday!

—Fran Berry, Chicago, IL