Dog Dish
How many dogs can claim to have met Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney, U2, the Rolling
Stones, Bruce Springsteen and about a dozen other music legends? For French
Bulldog Za Za Lazar, it’s just part of her rock ’n’ roll jetsetter lifestyle.
To find out more about Za Za’s adventures, Tails recently sat down to have a chat with her
in
Tails: It sounds like you’re living a pretty exciting life!
Za Za: I’m a
very lucky Bulldog. I have a great mom.
Tails: Who is your mom?
Za Za: My
mom is Shelley Lazar, VIP ticket director to the stars. She’s
been in the concert business since
Tails: May I ask how old are you now?
Za Za: I’m
26 months old, but people say I don’t look a day over
6 months.
Tails: What’s a typical day like for you?
Za Za: When
we’re at home in
wake up, do some stretching, take a morning piddle and a poop,
head to the office, do lots of ball throwing and catching, play
with
my squeaky toys, and hang out for an hour with Jab (my walker),
Afterwards, we head back to the office for some rest, then head
home for an evening romp in the park and to watch some “Law
and Order” and “CSI.”
Tails: What
about when you’re on the road?
Za Za: If it’s a travel day, I stay
in my fancy carry-on bag
with
the Tiffany & Co. luggage tag
attached. I always
travel
by plane. I don’t do the bus thing. I only stay at firstclass
hotels
and definitely enjoy those accommodations. I
especially
love the down comforters and soft pillows. On a
show
day, I head over to the empty arena for sound check.
I
always like sound check because it’s like having my own
private
concert without people spilling beer on my head.
Tails: Do you
hang out backstage?
Za Za: Sure. After sound check, I go
backstage.
Tails: What’s
that like?
Za Za: It’s great fun. Backstage you
get to meet movie stars
like
Jack Nicholson and you get to be fed by the backstage
caterer.
I can’t say no to broiled chicken and a good piece of
filet
mignon!
Tails: We’ve
all heard crazy rock ’n’ roll stories before,
but have you ever had to do anything questionable to get
backstage?
Za Za: I thought we agreed not to
discuss that.
Tails: The
people want to know, Za Za.
Za Za: Well, I have actually been known to offer “favors”
in
order
to get backstage. That’s all I’m going to say.
Tails: Does a
lot of partying go on backstage?
Za Za: I can’t tell you too much
because no one would let
me
back there if I start gossiping. But I am clean and sober.
I
have always been and always will be. Well, I do have the
occasional
sip of wine, but that’s it.
Tails: Anything
else you’d like to divulge?
Za Za: Again, I don’t like to talk
about such things. I abide by my
signed,
licked, and delivered confidentiality agreements. I’m
always
willing to pose for the many paparazzi who seem to
follow
me around, but I can only tell so much to reporters.
Tails: Do you
have any rock ’n’ roll doggy friends?
Za Za: My best friend is my cousin,
Ruby Tuesday. Ruby is
a
Maltese whose mom is Jane Rose, the manager of Keith
Richards
from the Rolling Stones.
Tails: I’ll
bet that dog can party!
Za Za: Ha, you reporters don’t give
up. Ruby is a cool cat. We
love
listening to music together.
Tails: Do you
have a favorite song?
Za Za: It depends on my mood. When I
want to rock out, I
listen
to the Stones, and [Bruce Springsteen’s] “Born to Run”
really
gets me going. When I’m in a mellow mood, James
Tails: What
about “Who Let The Dogs Out?”
Za Za: Ugh, that’s so cliché. If I
feel like dancing, I listen to
Donna
Summers’ “Hot Stuff.”
Tails: Do you
have any special talents?
Za Za: I’m very talented. I’ve
learned a lot from Mick Jagger,
like
how to strut. I also have perfected my tongue-hanging
Gene
Simmons impression. And I do a little acting, too—for
instance,
to get extra attention, I pretend I’m Bono. You
know,
lots of attitude.
Tails: Have
you influenced the set lists at any shows?
Za Za: Well, Frenchies like me are
known for being quite
flatulent.
Some people on the road have suggested that
Dylan
has played “Blowin in the Wind” in my honor.
Tails: What
do you think of Snoop Dogg?
Za Za: I have some issues with him.
Mainly because he’s not
a
real dog. I really think it’s time for him to be honest with
everyone
and just admit it.
Tails: What
about Triumph the Insult Comic Dog? Have you
ever met him?
Za Za: I’m sure h is b reath stinks
from all th ose cigars
he
sm okes.
Tails: What
exciting things do you have coming up?
Za Za: I have a tour with the Stones
and another with Paul
McCartney.
Love to chat more...but my limo’s waiting.
