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A Twist in the Tale: My Cat Thinks I Should Stop Writing About Her

Puff is not having it.

Puff is not having it.

By Jenny Kalahar

I’ve written stories and poems about my dog, Weegee, and about my cats: Tiger, Callie, Buglit, Preston, Skitter, and Puff. They all seem to tolerate or like what I write well enough, but yesterday Puff decided that she wanted me to stop including her among my animal subjects. Here’s what happened when sat down together to discuss the matter.

My Cat Thinks I Should Stop Writing About Her

“I think you should stop writing about me,”
said my buttercream calico cat
who sat on my legs gazing out at the world
that unfurled through our sunny day window

“I don’t know why I would ever do that,”
I said to my cat, my calico cat.
“You are wondrous and wise
And I surmise that others would think so, too.”

“Oh, all right,” Puff said at last
after time had passed for her to think.
“But don’t write about that time I lost my balance
up on the valance and crashed and broke your vase!”

“I would never do that,” I calmly assured
and then she purred, thinking some more.
“And don’t mention that time that the dog went away
to the vet for a day and I cried and I cried.”

“Oh, dear, no—I wouldn’t! I know your reputation
but her medication made her woozy and tired
and you slept by her bed, and you patted her head
until she was back to her old self again.”

“I think you shouldn’t mention the night I caught a bug
and stuffed it under the rug in the bathroom.”
“I won’t tell anyone about that, ’cause, as a matter of fact
when it crawled out later it sure sent me screaming!”

“You should instead write all about how cute I am
how calm I am, and of no trouble at all.”
“I could, little Puff, and I might, dear Puff
but who would ever want to read about that?”


 

Jenny Kalahar, her husband Patrick, and their pets live in Indiana where she sells used and rare books and writes novels and poetry. She is the author of a fantasy novel about teens stuck with the worst-ever magical power, This Peculiar Magic. Her two novels about fostering cats are Shelve Under C: A Tale of Used Books and Cats, and The Find of a Lifetime. Her collection of nostalgic and humorous poetry is One Mile North of Normal and Other Poems. For more, visit her blog.

More from Jenny:

Annual Holiday Letter from the Cat

Gift Ideas for Your Favorite Pet

From Tigerlet to Tiger

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