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A Twist in the Tale: Welcome to Bison World

Bison calf outside

By Jenny Kalahar

There are countless pet care stores around the world today like there has never been before. Even grocery stores stock toys and leashes next to dog and cat food. When you walk the aisles of these supercenters or tiny boutiques you’ll see all manner of toys, treats, clothes, beds, litter, chews, tanks, brushes, etc. However, I have yet to see items for the family’s largest pet, the bison. That seems very unfair, so I’ve imagined a shop that houses everything you could possibly want or need for the calf or grown-up bison in your life.

Welcome to Bison World      

Come inside and meet the folks
who wait to greet you at Bison World.
We’ve got all your bison wants and needs
and stuff you’ve never herd of here.
No bison-loving family is complete without
this gotta have it—gotta try it—gotta buy it bison stuff!
We’ve got these great calf starter-kits
toothbrushes, training manuals
teething rings, and toys galore!
Giant fetch balls, raincoats, brushes
coat conditioner, cute barrettes!
Bison costumes for special occasions
(sweetest bumblebee suit you’ll ever see!)
We’ve got snacks and compact shrub chews
for when they’re bored or teething.
Step over to the petting area
and take a ride on Bernie there.
He’s plenty docile in his old age
but once upon a rougher time
he bucked off cowboys, clowns and ranchers—
you should have seen him on the range!
We’ve got bison games to play on weekends,
your pet will learn them in a snap.
Games like buffalo-chip bingo
bison poker and kick the can.
Note our personal care aisle
filled with flea combs and with salves,
anti-itchy rash creams, and lotions for the bath.
We’ve got bison ear-mite treatment
and a solution against ticks.
A cure for tired hoof, and for ear-sag
and for limp-tail if it drags

Don’t forget to tell your friends about our discount Tuesday nights
when all our bison DVD’s are on sale for just half price.
We hope you’ve loved your time at Bison World
we hope you’ll come again.
Bernie says goodbye and thank you
he feels he’s made a great new friend!


Jenny Kalahar, her husband Patrick, and their pets live in Indiana where she sells used and rare books and writes novels and poetry. She is the author of a fantasy novel about teens stuck with the worst-ever magical power,This Peculiar Magic. Her two novels about fostering cats are Shelve Under C: A Tale of Used Books and Cats, and The Find of a Lifetime. Her collection of nostalgic and humorous poetry is One Mile North of Normal and Other Poems. For more, visit her blog.

More from Jenny:

Poem for an Old Gray Cat

Wallabies

The Littlest Raccoon

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