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A Twist in the Tale: If My Cat Were a Little More Dog

Cat outside

By Jenny Kalahar

Growing up with a household of cats was a wonderful way to spend a childhood. We always had at least two, and they were primarily my pets. (But maybe my brothers thought the same thing!) There was always someone to listen to my troubles, to hug, to play with and cuddle. But some days I wished my family had a dog—or that my cat could be just a little more dog. Here’s what I think it would be like:

If My Cat Were a Little More Dog

Cats are nice enough fluffy animals

I suppose

They have flipping tails behind

are elegant and very refined

Tufted fluff ears that twitch at my sneezes

soft, smooshy tums and nibble teethes

and believe me, they couldn’t be any cuddlier

But—

Wouldn’t it be nice if they did doggy things

at least once a week? I think so!

is that honestly too much to ask?

 

I want a cat who minds

who comes when called

who’ll chase a ball

who’ll sit up and beg or roll over

who’ll loll out his tongue

oh, we’d have so much fun

if my cat were a little more dog

 

We’d run through the park

he could speak with a bark

he would wag on command

I might get him to stand

on hind legs for a while

run through a leaf pile

if my cat would just act like a dog

 

But … I probably would miss

how he puts up with a kiss

on the top of his head with a purr

And how he squints right at me

stays inside to pee

and doesn’t slobber all over, for sure

 

So, I’ll just be content

with my cat being cat

and not dog any day of the week

His stripy, soft fur

I think I prefer

on my pillow right next to my cheek

 

Hey! Wait!

I just had a great idea—

Let’s get a dog, too!

***

Jenny Kalahar, her husband Patrick, and their pets live in Indiana where she sells used and rare books and writes novels and poetry. Her two novels about fostering cats are Shelve Under C: A Tale of Used Books and Cats, and The Find of a Lifetime: Another Tale of Used Books and Cats. Her collection of nostalgic and humorous poetry is One Mile North of Normal and Other Poems. For more, visit her blog, Bookselling and Writing with Weegee.

More from Jenny:

Catsanova

Winter Chats with the Neighbor Dogs

I’ve Tamed the Wild All

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