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A Twist in the Tale: Safe Adventures for Pets

waterwings

By Jenny Kalahar

Well, this summer is already winding down. Kids are heading back to school, and the stores are filling with Halloween decorations and candy. You didn’t actually get done most of the things on your summer to-do list, and time has nearly run out to do some of those adventuresome activities you’ve always wanted to try. Your dog and cat want to have fun before the leaves fall, too, but they need to be kept safe. Here is a list of risky recreational activities and their safe alternatives for pets.

Running with the bulls.
Cats: Sit on a stuffed bull while washing up for a nap.
Dogs: Run after cats

Surfing.
Cats: Nap on a sunny, cat-friendly beach and watch humans surf.
Dogs: Dog-paddle in the backyard pool while wearing a set of water wings.

Downhill skiing.
Cats: stand on a frosty frozen fish that’s been taken out to thaw for dinner.
Dogs: Slowly slide on your butt down the carpeted staircase.

Sky diving.
Cats: Have your human blow cool air from the hair dryer up under your tummy to simulate falling.
Dogs: Try on your human’s 1980s parachute pants and jump off the kitchen counter.

Volcano walking.
Cats: Sit on the heat register until your tail gets a bit too warm.
Dogs: When a pizza is first delivered, flip open the box lid and stand on those oven-fresh pepperonis, the cheese oozing between your toes.

Taking a barrel over a waterfall.
Cats: Turn on the tub faucet and leave it on until there’s an overflow, and then ride across the bathroom tile floor on a blow-up floatie toy.
Dogs: Sit in the backyard rain bucket until you’ve cooled off from standing on that pizza.

Croc wrestling.
Cats and dogs: Drag a stuffed gator out of the back of the kid’s closet and then bite his ears a little and growl.

Cave exploring.
Cats: Take a few minutes and really get a good look at the inside of Fido’s dog house. Dogs: Finally go looking for all of the forbidden toys that mysteriously got lost someplace in the basement.

Tightrope walking.
Cats: Unravel the hot-pink turtleneck sweater Grandma’s knitting and walk all over the yarn while crossing each paw over the other, pretending to wobble like you might fall.

Bungee jumping .
Cats: Same thing, only jump off the sofa with an end of the yarn and yowl like you’re just about to nearly touch the desert floor or similar.

Swimming with the sharks.
Cats: Snorkel in the aquarium.
Dogs: Grab the cat out of the aquarium before anything awful happens to the fish.

Jenny Kalahar, her husband Patrick, and their pets live in Indiana where she sells used and rare books and writes novels and poetry. Her two novels about fostering cats are Shelve Under C: A Tale of Used Books and Cats, and The Find of a Lifetime: Another Tale of Used Books and Cats. Her collection of nostalgic and humorous poetry is One Mile North of Normal and Other Poems. For more, visit her blog, Bookselling and Writing with Weegee.

More from Jenny:

Poem From an Adopted Puppy

Stomper, Bookshop Cat

Pillow Visions

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